It has been 5 very long years since you left this world. So many things have changed since you have gone. Raymond and I have been married for 6 years now, can you believe that? We are a family of eight now, too, I know- unbelievable! We have three children that you have never met, and after five darling boys, we finally have a little girl. We have missed you so much, and we wish you could have celebrated so many occasions with us. There have been so many birthdays, Christmases, Easters, and just plain days that I truly wish you could have been here for.
I still remember the most terrible phone call I have ever gotten, it was sometime in the early morning hours of April 1st. The irony of your ring tone, Pearl Jam's "Alive", when my mind finally settled after the news came. The overwhelming information and the confusion I felt while trying to let it all sink in left me nauseous and numb. I remember not believing it all... hoping it was all a terrible April Fools joke. No, my mother cannot be dead....she just can't.
I do have to say it is a little bit easier now. I still miss you, and I think about you very often. The fact that you are no longer with us is more real now, but it still hurts. I wish I knew what really happened, so that there was a little more closure, but I will always be questioning what happened that night.
If you did commit suicide, I hope you have found your peace. If you were the victim of an act of violence, I can only hope that the one who harmed you gets the punishment they deserve. So until we meet again, if that is possible, I leave with these words.
I miss you Mom, I wish you were here.
RIP Lisa Marie Genson 3/8/1965-4/1/2006